Have you ever noticed all the advice out there with titles like:
• Tips for Managing Your Anxiety
• The Best Coping Skills for Anxiety
• How to Deal with Your Anxiety
I know this sounds all well and good. But in this article, I’ll explain why these types of articles are not what you need if you really want to begin conquering your worry and anxiety. I’ll also share with you the three biggest myths out there about worry and anxiety.
First, I believe the advice like the three examples above shows a lack of understand of how our subconscious minds really operate. The authors giving it might not have learned or might not have witnessed first hand the true potential each of us has inside – to grow and evolve and to be able to let go of the things that are keeping us stuck.
Do any of the statements below sound familiar? You’ve no doubt heard them from other people through the years. And if you’re reading this article, you’ve definitely said some of them yourself in one form or another:
“My mother (or father) is an anxious person, so I am too. It’s just the way we are.”
“My childhood is the reason I worry so much – and I can’t change the past.”
“I’m stuck with the way things are.”
I used to say statements like them myself. Now, after researching, studying and putting into practice what I’ve learned about this subject over the past twenty five years – these statements are no longer true for me.
I know the Truth now! And little by little, you can keep learning and letting the Truth sink in for you.
This leads me to the first myth:
Myth #1: Worry and Anxiety are Life Sentences
There is so much scientific proof now about how pliable our minds are. We don’t have to be stuck with things like worry and anxiety. We can begin changing our programming.
It doesn’t happen overnight. There’s no magic bullet. But, that’s ok. Feeling bad about ourselves, being worried, anxious and stressed also didn’t happen overnight. It built up over time. And that’s what I really want to get across to you – that you can start reversing all that negative programming, little by little, over time.
It’s all about learning to reach into your subconscious mind where your programming is stored and replacing all the negative programming. You do this first with knowledge and second with simple daily practices. There are tons of these practices that I teach. So, a good place to start is by either purchasing the paperback of my new book, Finally Worry Free, on Amazon or by clicking on the link on the homepage of this website and getting yourself the FREE E-Book of it.
My first book, Simply Being Happy, will also get you started. I suggest you read that one after Finally Worry Free. You can get the FREE E-Book of this one also by clicking on the “HERE” button at the top of the homepage. The paperback is also available on Amazon.
You can also start reading some of my blog posts. I’ll be creating a lot more as I go along.
Of course I’m shamelessly plugging my books and my website. (LOL:) But, there are so many amazing authors, teachers and books on this subject. Just start exploring and learning everything you can in order to get yourself HAPPIER. You’ll be uncovering the truth about how our minds work and you’ll also be uncovering the truth about your own mind and what’s really going on inside of you.
Just know that there is 100% scientific proof that we can actually change the negative beliefs we have about ourselves deep inside. Beliefs like, “I’m not worthy.” “I’m not capable.” and “I don’t deserve to be really happy.” are just a few of the ones that could be operating under the surface.
Changing the beliefs we have deep inside is the most important part of becoming free of worry and anxiety. I talk so much about beliefs in my two books. They say the words, ‘I am . . .’ (and what follows) are the two most important words a person will ever speak.
The other parts of our programming we can learn to change little by little over time are the thoughts, images, feelings (stuck emotions), and habits that are all stored in our subconscious mind. Releasing them, replacing them, understanding them, etc. is so empowering!
Myth #2: Getting Rid of Worry and Anxiety Would Take a Really Long Time
One thing you’ll never hear me say is that there is a quick fix to becoming free of things like worry and anxiety. Like I said above, we didn’t become stressed, worried and insecure overnight. It happens over time. And becoming a person who is more relaxed, confident and sure of herself also takes time.
But, the thing that many people don’t realize is that they go about this all wrong. The way many people go about it is actually an outdated model. Let me explain.
Picture this scene: A woman is seeing a therapist once a week or maybe once a month for her worry and anxiety during stressful times. During their visits, her doctor always gives her something to work on for the next few weeks. Like tracking her thoughts, for instance, or meditation every day to calm her mind. But, life just gets busy and she often doesn’t have time to keep up with her homework every day.
Life, in fact, gets so hectic and her worry can get so overwhelming because of it, that she usually can’t wait to get to her appointments. She always leaves the office feeling much better and hopeful.
This might sound ok, but it’s not anymore. This way is the old fashioned way of going about things. She’s not going to make much headway like this.
One of the main reasons for this is pretty simple. It’s based on the fact that we have over 60,000 or so thoughts a day. And studies show that in an average person, 70% of those thoughts are negative.
So when a person doesn’t work on their thoughts and their programming little by little every single day; if instead they put it off until they’re at the therapist’s office once a week; then the process is a slow and arduous one.
Or maybe they don’t see a therapist. Then what often is the case is they work at avoiding their worry and anxiety as much as they can until times when it becomes so bad that they have no choice but to confront what could be behind it.
The new, enlightened approach to worry and anxiety is to take advantage of all the little moments of your days to change your programming. This is what I teach.
Myth #3: Worry and Anxiety are Caused by Our Stressful World
Sure, we are going through a pandemic we’ve never seen like this before. Yes, there is a lot we are dealing with right now. But, it’s important to understand that they are not the true cause of a person’s worry and anxiety.
I’m not saying this isn’t a scary time and it’s not causing people to be stressed out and worried. But, just ask yourself this one question. Was I worried and anxious often before COVID hit? If you answered ‘yes’, then COVID is not the actual cause of your stress – it’s just exacerbating it.
So waiting for COVID to go away; or for the political environment to change; or people around you to change; or anything else to is not a plan. Reaching into your subconscious mind every day with simple practices that start compounding over time is.
I’ll go into detail about this one in another post.
Now, here’s a bonus myth I want to leave you with:
Bonus Myth: Learning to Relax More and Take Care of Yourself are the Best Things You Can Do For Your Worry and Anxiety
Just not true.
Relaxing, Meditation, Mindfulness, Fresh Air, Exercise, Self Care, etc. – are all amazing for us. Absolutely!
But if you are a person who has always been plagued with worry and anxiety, then they are not enough. They’ll help you in a lot of ways. But, they won’t change your programming.
The good thing is that practices like the ones above can be incorporated into exercises that will, in fact, start changing your negative programming. You can learn to bump them up, so to speak. To be intentional with them. Not just with the intention of relaxing, for example. But, with the intention of clearing out and replacing the beliefs and habits of mind that are the real cause of your stress.
Practices like affirmations, visualization, journaling, gratitude, awareness, releasing blocked emotions, forgiveness, etc. all become your tools when you decide to really start clearing away your worry and anxiety.
Thanks for reading!
Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or anything I can help you with.
Paula
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